'Not My Fault!'
The culture of blame is on the rise in today's world, especially among young people, according to a recent psychological study.
As a result, young adults and children are becoming more cynical in their outlook on life and more self-centred in their behaviour. Feelings of alienation and depression are increasing.
Researchers at the San Diego State University found that, from 1960 to 2002, 'college students increasingly believed that their lives were controlled by outside forces rather than their own efforts.'
They found the same substantial increase in a 'don't-blame-me' attitude among children aged 9 to 14.
The study tested more than 18,000 American college students and more than 6,500 children, assessing how much people take responsibility for their misfortunes and how likely they are to blame others.
'In the 1950s, it was fashionable to believe than anyone could make it if they tried hard enough,' writes Dr. Jean Twenge, who led the study. In the 60s and 70s, she says, this belief became less popular. At the same time, people became more likely to blame societal factors for the problems they faced.
Dr. Twenge suggests that the 'don't-blame-me-culture' could partly explain society's current record levels of anxiety.
Personally, I think the good doctor is onto something.
It should not surprise us that there is an increase in depression as people become less willing to take responsibility for their lives.
It makes sense: if I say that my deficiencies, my mistakes and even my crimes are the result of my factors outside my control, I make myself a candidate for despair.
When personal responsibility dies, so does hope.
If the direction of my life has been dictated by other people, or by the fates, my choices don't count for much at all.
If my decisions have made little difference in the past or the present, they cannot change much about my future.
I am powerless to change anything about my life and will forever be the victim, never the victor.
That defeatist thinking leads to all kinds of mental and emotional maladies.
From a Christian worldview perspective, the laying of blame is the first result of a fractured relationship between human beings and their God.
In the Genesis record, Adam's first act after his fall from grace was to dish out blame, first to his wife and then to God who created her.
In his fallen state, he ceded responsibility and opened himself to a victim mentality. That is the end result of laying blame, even to this day.
Another person may abuse me in some way and I will be their victim in that event. But whether or not I remain their victim is mostly up to me.
Another recent study looked at the differences between people who consider themselves 'lucky' and those who feel they're 'unlucky'.
Why is it, asked the researchers, that some people seem to be blessed with many happy coincidences in life while others feel they have only bad luck?
One of the answers was intriguing. Lucky people, it seems, have a basically optimistic outlook on life. They expect good things to happen to them; they feel that things will work out for them in the end.
This attitude, it seems, makes them more open to the new opportunities life has to offer. Because they have a positive outlook, they tend to take opportunities which more negative people might pass up.
This attitude is something like what Christians call faith. Or, it is the end result of faith.
What is faith? It is the very opposite of a victim mentality. It is, according to the Bible, the positive expectation of 'things hoped for'.
Faith is more than a feeling or an inclination. Faith is a deliberate decision, a choice to take responsibility for my life and change my future by seeing it as God does, as filled with hope and purpose.
Taking personal responsibility is the first step to discovering a lasting sense of hope.
However, given our propensity to make mistakes, something else is needed to keep us from making wrong and damaging choices. That something is faith – faith in Someone greater than us.
Perhaps the really lasting cure to the 'don't-blame-me' culture is a strong belief that, no matter what life throws at us in this fallen world, God has good plans for each of us, plans to give us 'a future and a hope.'
© Mal Fletcher 2005
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Mal, a massive thanks from a baby boomer & a gen-Xer who had the priviledge of being inspired by you at the ALC Leadership Academy. You have really helped make sense of the world that we are seeking to influence...
Nigel & Christine, United Kingdom
I want to commend you for the good work you are doing. I'm a 28 year old minister [in Ghana] whom God has called to ... bring together God's people to fight against issues that are killing the youth of today. [My ministry] would like to affiliate itself with your ministry.
prophet alfred , Ghana
Thanks for putting your free podcasts on your website. Spread the word! Tonight I listened to 'Living with Excellence' - a fantastic message, professionally delivered with humour, clarity and compassion. Thank you Mal!
Christer, United Kingdom
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